Do you want to learn how to make all the money you just deposited in your trading account quickly vanish?
In 10 days or less?
Here’s a step-by-step guide:
Step 1: Buy a Super Expensive Computer
Don’t forget to get at least six 27″ UltraHD 8K monitors and install them all on a gorgeous monitor stand so you can view your price charts alongside CNBC, Bloomberg TV, Fox Business News, Reuters TV, and Cheddar!
To trade successfully, you must have ALL of these items! Don’t miss Herman Miller’s luxury ergonomic chair, which precisely aligns with the natural curve of your spine.
Once you’ve purchased them all, watch your trading account balance skyrocket with earnings! That massive electrical bill from all your gadgets will appear like a pocket change.
Step 2: Focus on trying to find the perfect technical indicator.
Finding this enigmatic technical indicator will be like placing an ATM machine in your kitchen.
BIG trades.
No, not at all. YUGE trade.
Because of all the positive pips, your six UltraHD 8K computer monitors will all light bright green!
Step 3: When your technical indicator says that the currency pair is oversold, buy it right then and there!
Always do what your chart indicator says to do.
Never ever question it. Like ever.
It’s always right. Like always.
It doesn’t matter if important news is coming out or if price action is telling you something different.
Your puny brain is no match for the indicator.
Step 4: Don’t pay attention to the current or future economic outlook of the world’s biggest countries.
Who is concerned with the global economy and geopolitics? Economy versus monomy. . That thing is boring.
All you have to do is look at your charts all day until a successful trade pops out of nowhere.
Trading is essentially a stare-down between you and the market. Whoever blinks first is the loser. So pay attention and stare long and hard at your charts.
What does it matter if your eyes start bleeding? Ignore it. Push past it. It’s merely blood from the eyes.
Profits will eventually come. It’s simply that simple.
Step 5: Make sure to visit a bunch of forex trading forums and go through all the threads until you find hot trading tips.
If you can’t locate any hot trade ideas, try private messaging absolute strangers and asking them for any.
You should know as little as possible about them. That makes it more mysterious. And it makes trading enjoyable!
These are free techniques that will make you a fabulously wealthy person in no time!
If you’re really lucky, you might even find people blogging about their magical technical indicators or free EAs with 137% win rates!
Step 6: Read what other traders doing and be sure to follow them without question.
It’s a no-brainer to follow other traders. It literally requires no thought. So don’t be concerned about your feeble mind.
Simply mimic their deals.
These people have been trading for a lot longer than you, according to their profiles, so they must know what they’re doing. Right?
Why am I even bugging you with a question? That needs thinking.
Go ahead and start duplicating random trades now. The sooner you begin, the sooner you’ll be able to accomplish your ideal Instagram lifestyle.
Step 7: Skip creating a trading plan. If you see a good trade, just do it.
You shouldn’t argue with Nike…even if their slogan is meant for athletes, not traders. Just do it. Victory is yours.
Forget about developing a trading plan. Don’t worry about how or when you’re going to exit.
Never mind the details. The trade is guaranteed to win. It’ll be a slam dunk.
Step 8: Dream about how much you’ll much you’ll make, not about how much you’ll lose.
Don’t worry about proper position sizing.
Who cares how much you can lose on a trade. And how much you’d need to make back just to return back to breakeven.
Just think about how much you can win! Then find directions to the nearest Ferrari dealership or Hermès store.
Step 9: Don’t set stop losses. That’s for losers.
You are a winner. You win at everything. All you do is win. Just like DJ Khaled. “We the best trades!”, you proclaim.
Stop losses are for losers.
Even if your trade is currently in the red and losing, you know it’ll eventually turn around. Unlike everybody else, all of your trades always end up as winners.
Don’t worry about your trade blinking red on your screen. Just like how age is just a number, red is just a color.
Step 10: Make trades based on your emotions.
No need for logic, simply rely on your consistently dependable emotions.
When you’re excited and feel greedy, you buy. When you’re scared, you panic and sell.
Trading emotionally is how you will pile up winning trade after winning trade. At least, that’s how you feel.
Final Tips
Make sure to perform as many of the steps as possible.
Pretty soon, you’ll be seeing that big fat zero under your account balance that you’ve always dreamed about.
If you’re lucky, you may even see a negative balance.
If you’re really impatient and want to lose money even faster, feel free to repeat any of the individual steps vigorously.
But if you want to AVOID blowing your trading account in 10 days or less, now you know what NOT to do.
A lot of traders have made these mistakes when they first start trading.
Including myself.
Hopefully, you don’t follow in my footsteps.